Depression....

I have a D in SS and an F in Spanish... I guess I'm livng the life of a failing nerd huh? I didn't think that was possible...

I was really depressed today that I did so bad. And I noticed something. Whatever I do now is basicaly useless... my advice sucks, and the harder I try to help the worse everything seems. Dang.. this sounds emo, but seriously the harder I try the more I'm basically screwing everything up. It's just... I duno

I duno. I sometimes think if I just disappearred... not a whole lot of ppl that would notice. I duno. Half the ppl that act like they're my "friend" seriously just want to use me to do their hw. Not any of you guys, but some other pplz. I don't know. It kinda makes me feel like a tool. And that makes the whole grade thing worse... I mean... If i start failing do ppl just like stop talking to me and shunning me? Would that make me a homework tool then basically?

I'm not ticked off. I'm actually really sad that anything like this might happen w/ ppl I know. Maybe it's just me. Prolly is. But I duno. I feel like a waste of everyone's time when I basically throw a tantrum like this. bleh. I get depressed over the stupidest stuff. grades. and it's not even high school. wow. ><"

Omg I haven't posted in a hecka long time o-o I'll have to post an extra long one... by my standards anywayz.

La... it's time to be random.

HOLY COW DO YOU KNOW HOW HEAVY BARK IS!?!? I've been shovelling it into a wheelbarrow and then moving it all around the house. Huff... it's heavy work. And then I got high off of the smell, and I'm like running around in circles screaming "AHA! I'VE GOTTEN HIGH OFF OF BARK"

my brother and sister were like: o________O is this our brother?

yupp...

than, I started painting my rooms (from white... to another shade of white =O) and than I got high off of paint

aha.... my parents got pissed at me for getting high off of so many things so they're like cracking up and screaming at the same time O.o kinda weird. They lectured on drugs. HAHA I'M FAILING LIFE CUZ I'M DOING DRUGS NOW!!!!

yea... I'm kinda heady... and I'm most definitely absolutely sane! ... Did I mention I was sane? hmmmm xDDDD

but anywayz... aside from the sudden insanity--I mean sanity that has come over me... I've been playing gaia... and being bored. Most of the time it's just getting high. Off stuff like bark and paint. yup.

ohohoh I've discovered the coolest, most amazing thing in the world. Portable craisins. It's just amazing, and I'm in awe. Craisins have gone portable. I mean.. now you can like eat craisins in the car... have it as a snack at school -bows in reverence-

O.o I forgot to blog about the social. That would be hard to forget. Ahahaha!! best afternoon of my life so far =] yupp go slow dancing! Justin was being Justin of course and just has to slam me against Katie to make a point (it hurt... not really =D). Alotta ppl were like "o.o omg your soo cute together!!" I'm like "uh... w/e?" xD. And then there was a PRISM blob and whenever there was a jumpy music they all jumped at once O.o the power of synchronization. PRISM's just cool that way.

I wonder if I'm just weird to be so high a couple days and then be like depressed other days. It's interesting to view life while your're really happy cuz everything's like whoosh! whoosh! bam! and then being depressed makes you contemplate the sadness and dumpsters of life. Aha... I'm getting a mood swing. Must be cuz I'm in craisin withdrawal. yupp.

Break's almost over... hm.. that kinda sux. but than again, I get to see my friends, and others =D that's cool.

aha... then i watch weird shows like Princess diaries and laugh at Mia cuz she's cool that way and I'm like whoa... go princess? o.o

yea.... I post when I don't have time... and I don't post when I do. =/ that's kinda confuzzling. I duno.

....

Am I a loser? I mean I'm not in the center of any circle or anything, but I'm happy w/ friends and stuff. I'm a nerd... through and through, but does that change anything? I'm not quite sure. I'm proud to say "Loser pride" but I'm kinda weirded out when I say it. And then sometimes some of my friends I tink aren't really friends but just ppl just trying to use me for like hw or something like that coughdmitrycoughwhoreallyisn'tmyfriendcoughcough. O=]

that's kinda interesting tho.... hahah maybe the nerds could make a clique and than we'd be cool! yea! ... no. xD prolly wouldn't work out too well.

I wonder what life has in store in high school... hard? mehh... it's all tooo confuzzling to piece out, and I still have to think about it. =/

I should post tomorrow too.

a very fast rant

ok. this is going to be a fast rant.

OMFG!!! I think one of my largest pet peeves is when I confide in someone or talk to someone for sympathy, they'll say "oh forget that! I have more!" =.="""" that's just plain FUCK ok? I care that you have more, but that just great! you know, I talk to you cuz I want to just get it out. Not for some crap assed comparison that makes my troubles look little! I don't care! it's not your troubles, my troubles as large as life to me ok?!?! Whoever you are (I'm not mentioning ppl) go dip your fricking head in oil and jump in a lake! If you complain to me, I'll try to listen and comfort as best I can, but am I wrong to get really ticked off at this?

Ok. I'm done.

The Obama rally was really really really really really realy really really really really really really really really COOOLLLLL!!!! 8DDDDDDDDD

yup... it was awesome... but nooo... Ms. Benzinger has to give us a nice testette on Tuesday about the candidates and stuffz... =.= who would vote if they had to take a test on this kinda stuff? so much for encouraging political activiness...

Chinese school was mildly interesting today! there was a carnival like thing and me and larry ran around playing random games.. I failed at the dart toss =D larry pwns at DDR, and yea... we got money =]
...
I think I'll be going to interlake now... here's how I decided:

borrow a quarter. Then call Interlake as heads, Newport as tails.

I flipped it four times, each on a different quarter. I got all heads =ooooo so yup. I'm going to Interlake x]]]]]

yea... there's also other reasons too.... and Newport will be really lonely without Larry, Julian and some other pplz.

kinda scary you know? 8th grade is almost over... and then grades count... it just kinda doesn't seem real to me any more.... =/ I duno. To me it's just kinda shocking that I'm going past high school and stuff... much less a gifted high school.... I know I'll do fine in it, but does it weird anyone else out?

I got taggethed!! =ooo

Maturity test. ARE YOU AFRAID?
*meep* Yes!x = Yes/ = Half[x]
[x]I know how to cook toast.
[x] I can do my own laundry.
[/] I can cook for myself (fried rice... dumplings... and working on cake =oo)
[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations. (xD yupp)
Total so far = 3.5

[x] I show up for school all of the time unless I'm sick.
[ ] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse. (I'm not that nerdy am I??)
[] I've never gotten a detention. (... I've gotten three! xD)
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[ ] I drink coffee/tea at least once a week.
Total so far = 5.5

[x] I know how to run the dish washer and/or do the dishes.
[ ] I can count to 5 in either Spanish/French/German/Italian/etc. (only spanish...)
[x] When I sayI'm going to do something I always do it.
[x] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I remember to water my plants. (don't have any lol)
[x] I study when I HAVE to.
[x] I pay attention at school most of the time. (mostly?)
Total so far = 11.5

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up. (how stupid am I??)
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need. (as long as I don't have pocket change 0=])
[/] I always understand jokes the first time they are said. (Sometimes...)
[x] I can type fast (65 wpm)
Total so far = 15 (holy crap I'm getting old!!!!)

[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour. (duh...)
[ ] I realize that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 20 and have a job. (really?)
[ ] I can read a book and actually finish it (no, no of course not. x])
Total so far = 16

[x] I knew that the alphabet and twinkle twinkle little star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You just checked.
[x ] You actually watch the weather. (pretty exciting you know... with all the clouds moving across the screen!)

Maturity age = 18
Actual age = 13

HOLY COW I'M FRICKING OLD!!! Hey... maybe I could pass off as an 18-yr old in the election!
xD I TAGGETH: Katie, Ani!